How to Be Alone

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The Queer ‘Jane-of-All-Trades’ Has Published Her First Book

 Lane Moore’s collection of personal essays, How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don’t,is sure to make you feel all the feels.

Many of us know Lane Moore for her comedy show, Tinder Live, while others may connect her name to her band, It Was Romance. What is certain is that if you weren’t already a die-hard fan of her vast scope of work, you will be once you’ve read her latest brilliance – a published collection of personal essays titled How to Be Alone: If You Want to, and Even If You Don’t.

While there is nothing impersonal about song-writing or sharing your Tinder account with a room full of strangers, How to Be Aloneshows a much more vulnerable side of Moore by laying bare aspects of her personal relationships and past traumas. “I wanted to write a book for people who are not often written for, which is people who don’t have the ‘right’ family you’re supposed to have,” said Moore. “I never ever felt like people’s stories were fully for me, even in many books I adore. You always see the dedication and it’s presumably to someone who has been this lifelong support system for the author and my heart would just be reminded I didn’t have that. That’s why my book dedication is to all of my touchstone books and movies and tv shows and music, it’s a little nod to how alone many book dedications have unintentionally made me feel.”

In her essays, Moore shares pieces of her life that range from traumatic childhood experiences to her current struggles as an adult attempting to learn how (and when) to trust others enough to let them get close. Moore writes of her romantic relationships (both good and bad) with such genuine insight and humor that it appears writing this book may have been a bit therapeutic for her as well. “In writing this book, I learned so much about the problems that arose from my being such a hardcore hopeless romantic (which I do think is a beautiful quality I really adore) and hoping, subconsciously, to be saved by someone’s love,” said Moore. “And that just never ever worked for me. I’ve heard it’s worked for other people and that’s great, but I’m seeing now that I’m the hero of my story. I just am. And this book is really about finding so much comfort in that.”

It is her thoughtfulness and compassion that will make How to Be Aloneresonate with readers long after finishing the last page. Reading Moore’s book not only allows a closer look into her personal life, but truly makes anyone who can relate to any of her experiences feel a little more connected. If you have a toxic relationship with your parents and the holidays trigger anxiety and depression or you’re a queer woman who doesn’t easily fit into the categories of “gay” or “straight” that online dating sites expect, Moore’s book is the empathetic friend you’ve been searching for your whole life.

My review in Curve Magazine can be found here.

Twitter & Instagram: @hellolanemoore

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